Mother Goose
by Luffly Emi
Summary: I was thinking one day and something came to my mind. What would happen if I stuck Naruto characters in nursery rhymes? Well, this is what came forth. Collection of One-shots
1. Ten Little Ninja in a Bed

**Summary: **I was thinking one day and something came to my mind. What would happen if I stuck Naruto characters in nursery rhymes? Well, this is what came forth.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any Naruto characters, nor do I own the nursery rhymes/songs that will be mentioned in this fanfiction.

**Warnings:** The genres of each chapter/rhyme/song will vary. So beware if one moment it's hardcore angst and the next it's utter crack. There will be occasion bad language. That is one of the main reasons why this _is_ rated T.

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Mother Goose  
Ten Little Ninja in a Bed  
Genre: Humor/Friendship

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It was nighttime in Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and the citizens were all at peace, asleep in their beds, comforted by the assurance that their lives were safe, being protected at all times by their highly skilled shinobi (commonly known as ninja).

Our favorite little ball of sunshine, like the sun, went down when the moon came out. Uzumaki Naruto had been vigorously training all day to achieve his goals of beating his ultimate rival and teammate, Uchiha Sasuke, as well as becoming top dog, THE Hokage of Konoha. Right now, he, for a lack of a better term, was pooped and was enjoying some much deserved rest when the sound of knocking disturbed his slumber.

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

With sleep clouded eyes he shifted his covers aside, shivering as the cold air of his small apartment hit his skin, and shuffled to the door opening it to reveal a scowling Sasuke, a drowsy Sakura, and a sheepish Kakashi.

"Yesh?" questioned a half-asleep Naruto. He looked from one face to another, looking for a reason as to why they were all at his front step at some ungodly time, depriving him from his precious sleep. The two teens both looked at the team's sensei, volunteering him for interrogation.

"Well you see," he paused momentarily to chuckle nervously at the blank look on Naruto's face, so much unlike his norm that is was unsettling, before continuing, "There was this octopus and it—" only to be interrupted by a very irritated student's foot smashing into his own, followed by 3 sets of glares. "Maa, maa. No need to be so harsh."

Naruto motioned with an aggravated expression for him to continue.

"Turns out the Uchiha manor was being remodeled so little Sasuke-kins here pleaded with me to stay over and who was I to refuse such a cute pair of bambi eyes?," By now said Uchiha was fuming mad and ready to kill his "dear" teacher for such... _disgusting_ acquisitions. "And Sakura here was tragically left behind after her parents decided to vamoose and spend the rest of their lives in Antarctica without her—"

Insert a punch in the side delivered by one seriously pissed off kunoichi and a muttered, "They're only on vacation you crazed baka-sensei." Kakashi winced in pain behind his mask. She sure had gotten stronger in the past year.

"So I, graciously, allowed them to stay over at my apartment. And long story short, apparently turning the temperature up on the oven doesn't cook the food faster... it just ends up setting your apartment on fire. Who'd have known? Heh." More nervously chuckling as he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

Everyone present almost face-palmed at his stupidity.

"Can we stay over dobe?"

"Meh. Shure teme."

If Naruto was more conscious he wouldn't have taken Sasuke's insult lightly, but all he wanted to do right now was collapse back into his cozy bed and sleep.

He led them into his humble abode and immediately dove under his still warm covers. The small troupe behind him sweat-dropped and wondered where they were to sleep, each looking at the others they shrugged and followed Naruto's example by getting in his bed.

Like hell they were going to sleep on his creaky, spring-loaded couch or the cold, hard floor.

Naruto vaguely noticed the giant dip on the right side of the bed, but was too far off in La La Land to take it into account.

Soon it was back to the serene scene it had been before and all was well.

For now.

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

A sense of déjà vu sweep over Naruto as he, once again, woke up to the sound of someone knocking on his front door. Only this time, he found three other bodies in the bed next to him. Not caring, he crawled over them to get to the other side of his apartment where his door was located.

He opened it to see Kiba standing there with a grimace set on his face, dead set against asking _Naruto_ of all people for help, but he had to.

"My ma kicked me out. Can I stay over?"

Naruto looked back inside to the people inhabiting his bed. Turning back to Kiba he felt a bit of satisfaction of having dog boy come to him for help. With a smug smirk (a semblance to a certain dark avenger, not that Naruto would ever admit to it) and nodded, "Only if you can find room on the bed."

Kiba trailed behind the kitsune. Watching Naruto climb in he surveyed the occupants and strategically wormed his way over Kakashi and Sakura to curl up, similarly to a canine, at the end of Sasuke's feet.

And once again peace reigned over—

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

Swearing to himself he flopped out of bed clumsily and staggered to the door (again).

Opening it, he got a face full of double-dee's. Yawning widely, he mumbled, "W'at do you wan', baa-chaaan?"

Tsunade merely snorted in contempt and spoke down to his hunched figure.

"Gaki. Shizune's been bugging me about paperwork all night and I need my sleep."

In his head Naruto was almost in tears. _SO DO I!_

Sigh. "Fine, w'atever. Jus' get 'nside."

The both made it back in. Naruto ended up leaping over the mass of bodies to his open spot and Tsunade squeezed herself in between Kakashi and Sakura.

...is anyone going to interrupt me?

No? Good.

So all was quiet in the home of one Uzumaki Naruto—

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

You've got to be kidding me!

Growling, Naruto, yet again, got out of bed this time stomping across the hardwood and throwing open the door surprising the shy Hyuuga heiress that stood on the front porch. Out of shock, she promptly fainted into her older cousin's waiting arms as he glared at the cause of her most recent (and most common) department from the land of the aware.

"Uzumaki..." Neji growled warningly at him as Naruto started to freak out the minute Hinata up and "kicked the bucket" on him. "Just let us in so we can sleep." Naruto looked up at him curiously and a little upset. Was there even enough room on his bed for more people?

"Why did you come over here?"

"Because," Irritated exhale. "Apparently Hanabi-sama discovered the innovation of "rock music" and decided that everyone in the Hyuuga compound should be able to enjoy the magic of loud blaring instruments and meaningless lyrics of how life is strictly about the illegal use of drug substances, sexual activities, and more loud blaring instruments." Please note the sarcasm used in this particular explanation. How wonderful it is indeed.

Naruto nodded feeling a little offended, having a similar love for that particular genre of music. He moved aside and Neji strutted in, holding his cousin bridle-style. Surveying the positions of everyone present, he felt the safest place for Hinata-sama was between himself and Sakura, who he was positive, would do nothing harmful towards Hinata.

That also meant that he would be next to the big-chested Hokage, but he had to make sacrifices if it was meant for Hinata-sama's protection.

Naruto, being the smart little monkey he is, did not crawl back into bed and waited for who ever else was going to wake him up and low and behold, not but 2 minutes later...

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

Sighing in defeat he practically crawled to the door, feeling more hatred towards that one inanimate object then he ever felt towards anyone/thing else. Opening it up, he found a half-asleep Shikamaru. Naruto poked him back awake enough for him to drawl out, "Can I crash here? My mom's nagging me... troublesome."

They both heard the unmistakable voice of Tsunade behind them as she snored out, "Tell me 'bout it."

Shikamaru just sauntered in, hands in his pockets, back hunched, practically sleeping while he walked to the bed. It's amazing the skill you can acquire from napping as much as him. You learn to consciously, sleep-walk. How's that for a paradox?

He found an open spot at the end of people's head and he rested the top half of his body against the wall stretching his legs along the width of the mattress.

Done observing Naruto was about to close the door, but when he turned he found Sai standing on his doorstep.

"Is this what they call a "slumber party"? It's a rather strange concept. But then again, you are also strange, dickless."

Naruto scowled.

"Just get in."

Sai smiled a big fat fake smile and skipped into Naruto's apartment. Naruto groaned wonder how he can be so awake when it's so late out. It must have been a weird Sai-thing he deduced.

Finally figuring that there was no one else who could come in and bother him as there was NO way that anyone else could fit on his small bed he crawled back under the sheets and duvet for as much sleep as he could get before he had to get up for training in the morning.

_There were ten in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

It was way too crowded for ten people on the small bed. So Naruto mumbled out a groggy, "Roll over, roll over 'tebayo," And made a sigh of relief as there was an audible plunk that was Shikamaru being pushed off the bed and onto the floor. Not even stirring, the lazy-ass ninja continued to snooze.

_There were nine in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

Now it was too hot! Sasuke was almost completely on him and breathing his too hot breath right on Naruto face. Too close for Naruto's comfort if you ask him.

"Roll over, roll over 'tebayo."

Naruto kicked Sasuke, sending down a chain that ended up with Kakashi on the floor. Snorting he awoke, looked at the bed, and walked over to the couch laying there instead.

_There were eight in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

Naruto groaned. Why was there still not enough space?

"Roll over, roll over 'tebayo."

It also seemed like Sasuke was trying to get away from Sakura who, even in her sleep was trying to cling to her treasured Sasuke-kun. He kicked her again, sending Tsunade to the floor this time.

"What the hell?! Ugh. Damn brats."

She trudged to the couch and removed Kakashi, plopping down in his place.

Kakashi looked up and found the risks of reclaiming the couch over weighing the pros. So he stayed on the floor. Lucky there was a rug under him to act as padding.

_There were seven in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

Now Naruto's legs were cramping up from lack of foot room. Cause being: Sai.

"Roll over, roll over 'tebayo." A light nudge and Sai flopped off. Hmm... Naruto had always wanted to kick Sai. So what if he was not aware of his surroundings? It's not Naruto's fault! He should have been a better ninja. He deserved to sleep on the floor.

_There were six in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

It was still too hot with six in his moderately normal sized (_read: tiny_) bed. So Naruto garbled out, "Roll over, roll over 'tebayo."

Sasuke was still pushing away from Sakura, which ended up with, you guessed it, Neji finding the hard contact of wood flooring. Blinking up, the ceiling seemed much higher up then before he looked up to the bed confused at how he ended up on the floor.

_There were five in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

"Roll over, roll over 'tebayo."

Neji didn't have too much time to ponder this as Hinata seemed to fall from the sky onto him. Coughing from the sudden lack of air, he sat up and moved himself and Hinata to the open chair across from the couch where Tsunade lay snoring like a dragon in her lair.

_There were four in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

An incoherent, "Roll over, roll over 'tebayo," was heard and Sasuke seemed to realize that Kiba was laying on him after he could no longer feel his toes. So, irritated, he kicked him off the bed.

Kiba landed next to Sai and must have mistaken the emotionless artist for Akamaru, because the next second he was clinging to Sai like he was a giant teddy bear.

_There were three in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

Naruto grunted as he heard Sakura talking in her sleep about... what else? Sasuke. Grumbling, he moaned out tiredly, "Roll over, roll over 'tebayo." And feeling very annoyed, he reached across the dark avenger and pushed her (gently) off the bed, where she rolled twice to get into a comfortable position on her side.

_There were two in a bed and the little one said  
"Roll over, roll over"  
So they all rolled over and one fell out_

Now it was only him and Sasuke on the bed, but Sasuke was hogging all the blankets.

"Roll over, roll over 'tebayo."

He took much enjoyment in rolling the duck-butt ninja off of the bed. And hearing the satisfying 'Clunk' just made him smile sleepily.

_There was one in a bed and the little one said  
"I'm lonely, I'm lonely"_

Okay, what's wrong with him now?

He finally got the bed to himself and now he couldn't sleep.

He frowned; it was too cold in the bed alone. "I'm lonely, I'm lonely 'tebayo," he muttered to himself sadly.

_So he rolled over and joined his friends on the floor_

**OWARI!**

First one is done! I'm soo~o tired, you have no idea. I took time out of my sleep (ironically enough) and homework time to type this up. And now I have a whole fucking project to finish by tomorrow!

TT____TT

This one will probably be one of the more lengthy ones. I'm not even sure how it became such a big thing (9 pages, by-da-way)! It was kinda unexpected.

I have some stories planned out already but I'm willing to take suggestions. Just tell me either what rhyme, song, character(s), and/or pairing(s) you would like to see and I'll try to add it in here eventually.

Notice: I will let you know right now though that I may be hesitant of some pairings. I'll try to be flexible though so even if you think I won't like it, I'll try to make something up.

I live to make you all happy! :D (_Do you know how needy you people are?_)

-Luffly Emi


	2. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

**Summary: **I was thinking one day and something came to my mind. What would happen if I stuck Naruto characters in nursery rhymes? Well, this is what came forth.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any Naruto characters, nor do I own the nursery rhymes/songs that will be mentioned in this fanfiction.

**Warnings:** The genres of each chapter/rhyme/song will vary. So beware if one moment it's hardcore angst and the next it's utter crack. There will be occasion bad language. That is one of the main reasons why this _is_ rated T.

**Additional Information:** This chapter takes place during the first movie.

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Mother Goose  
Row, Row, Row Your Boat  
Genre: Humor

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Team 7 was on a C-class escort mission, their second one to be exact, and in the natural tendency of things, Naruto was bouncing along the deck while chattering and observing the crew, Sasuke was brooding as he leaned against the railing in his "cool pose", Sakura not far away, gazing at him and sighing adoringly, and Kakashi was immersed in his little orange book, flipping the pages and giggling every once in a while in what was considered a "pervy" manner.

Their charge and client for this mission was none other than Yukie Fujikaze, the famous actor who played Fuun-hime in a popular movie that was recently released. She was currently down in one of the chambers, under deck, resting.

After they had been at sea for a while and Sakura, realizing that Sasuke was paying no attention to her presence, along with any others, had turned her attention to the waves that splashed against the side of the ship.

Her legs were getting that tingly feeling from standing for too long so she chose to sit down on the floor, dangling her four limbs off board and resting her chin on the lowest rung of the metal that protected her from falling off the boat and in the freezing waters below. Humming a tune-less song, she pondered, trying to remember that children's song that her mother used to sing when she washed Sakura in the bathtub.

Oh yeah!

She pounded her fist into her open palm in realization and started to sing.

"_Row, row, row your boat  
Gently down the stream.  
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily  
Life is but a dream!"_

She giggled out of juvenile glee and repeated it again, louder this time, catching the attention of one hyperactive pre-teen who bounced over to her.

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan! That's not the right way to sing it!" he accused with a foxy-grin on his face, stretching out the whisker marks upon his cheeks.

"What are you talking about, Naru-baka?! Of course it's the right way!" This was followed by a thump and a new bump on his for head. But that didn't detour him at all, he rubbed his sore and continued what he was explaining before.

"Nuh-uh! The best version goes like this!"

"_Row, row, row your boat  
Gently down the stream.  
Throw your sensei overboard  
And listen to him scream!--"_

"WHAT KIND OF RUBBISH IS THAT?!"

Naruto blinked innocently and looked up at the enraged kunoichi in front of him who had her fist clenched and shaking slightly, a vein popping out on her (not over-sized) forehead.

Kakashi had looked over at the new word changes and was smiling his classic Eye-Smile©. "Try that with me and you'll be the one over board, Naruto."

"But the song's not even done yet!" he wined.

_Oh, lovely._ His teammates all thought sarcastically as Naruto took a deep breath and restarted his song.

"_Row, row, row your boat  
Gently down the stream.  
Throw your sensei overboard  
And listen to him scream!_

_Five days later:  
Floating down the Delaware,  
Chewing on his underwear  
Wished he had another pair._

_Ten days later:  
Eaten by a polar bear,  
And that's how the polar bear died!  
Poor polar bear!"_

When Naruto had re-opened his eye, as he had closed them to sing his joyful little tune, he saw the three look at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. He, being the clueless little kitsune he is, mistook these looks for ones of awe. (And indeed they were looks of awe, just not in the way that he had imagined.)

"It's it so much cooler then that boring version?! Huh? Huh?"

They still looked at him until Sasuke, surprisingly, broke the silence, "What the hell is a 'Delaware'?"

**OWARI!**

This one was much shorter than the first (many apologies!), but I wasn't really sure when to stop. I guess I could have written a little more up, it's just that I'm not sure it would as good of an ending.

I find it funnier to bring it to a close right here. xD

Silly Sasuke is embarrassed about his lack of knowledge and the fact that he admitted said lack of knowledge. But I'll let you know, none of them know what a blasted 'Delaware' is! Hehehe.

-Luffly Emi


End file.
